Thursday, February 27, 2014

Are You Sabotaging Your Own Success?

You can be your own worst enemy if you give into negative self talk
By Administrator, The Other Factor

Self-sabotage is an experience of an ‘internal tug-of war’ which tries to pull you away from the things that will make you successful in all aspects of your life. It stems from the action of your saboteur. Your saboteur is that internal force, that “voice in your head,” that “critical inner voice,” which keeps attacking your positive thought processes, in an attempt to destroy them and replace them with negative self thought.

According to an article published on PsychAlive, “Critical Inner Voice,” “This stream of destructive thoughts forms an anti-self that discourages individuals from acting in their best interest.” Further, “The voice consists of the negative thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that oppose our best interests and diminish our self-esteem. It encourages and strongly influences self-defeating and self-destructive behavior. This hostile, judgmental advisor also warns us about other people, promoting angry and cynical attitudes toward others and creating a negative, pessimistic picture of the world.

For example, you may want to be successful but this internal voice tells you, you shouldn’t do it or you cannot do it or that it is impossible to achieve. According to Troyan William, in her article, “40 Ways to Self Sabotage Your Success,” it is when you give in the negative pull “and there is no logical, rational, or otherwise, "real" reason why you can't do and/or have it," [your desires] you are self sabotaging. 
      
Common Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

People who self sabotage usually have negative self-talk and negative thought processes. They focus on the challenges and the problems, thus defeating their chances to achieve, and this is what sets them apart from real successful people.
Self sabotaging behaviors are most recognized as instances where you distract yourself with other chores or projects in order to escape working on something that relates to your success. For example, you worry about what other think of you and your goal to succeed; you procrastinate and “You start projects designed to create your success, make some progress, then lose interest and don't finish them;” “You don't set specific goals for guiding your success-making efforts and decisions;” and “You spend all of your time, money and energy trying to learn how to be successful and never actually get around to doing the things that will create your success.” Williams says.

You also generally have great ideas but often do not get around to choosing one and getting started. People who sabotage their success also tend to stay on a project only if they are excelling at it. If however they start to not do well, they usually force themselves to quit. They also find no shortage of excuses or reasons why they discontinued the project.


You Want Success But You're Afraid of It

You have great fears of success mainly because you think you’re going to fail on the journey. Even if you break the barriers of distraction and procrastination, and find your way to success, you often choose the most difficult pathway. This in turn operates to undermine your success in the end. Some psychologists concluded that self sabotagers are addicted to struggle and really set themselves up perfectly for failure. Then they worry about people criticizing them for not succeeding at something they set out to do. In fact, this is another example why they sometimes avoid success in the first place.  

The link to rebelliousness


People who self-sabotage possess a common trait of rebelliousness. It is not that they are unable to succeed, but they have the propensity to rebel against the natural order to prove that they can do things their way. To prove a further point, or to demonstrate their concept of strength, they usually take a difficult path to accomplish goals. They often wind struggling and achieving little or nothing. This result is similar to the one where people shoot themselves in the foot because they are afraid to succeed. Often times this is highly unnecessary as these rebels are bound to achieve their goals, except some adverse, intervening event prevents this achievement.

Escaping From and Defeating Your Saboteur

To escape the strongholds of self sabotage (your saboteur), you have to ‘rewire’ your brain. You must first identify the behaviors which destroy your chances of success. You must then replace them with positive behaviors and positive self talk which supports your goals for success. This is called genuine alignment of thoughts with goals and desires. Constant positive affirmation of positive behavior will eventually override the destructive behaviors.

“The challenge is to identify and ‘flush out’ this internal covert operation. To do this, be on the lookout for when you slip into a bad mood or become upset. Investigate: what caused the shift? What happened and, most importantly, what did you start telling yourself after the event? The fact that your mood shifted from feeling optimistic or relaxed to feeling down or irritable is probably a sign that you are interpreting the event through your critical inner voice." (PscyhAlive)

Stop being your worst enemy and become your greatest ally! Promote positive self interest by unlearning old behaviors that hinder progress and learning new behaviors that help you achieve your goals. You must also challenge and act against the directions of your critical inner voice. If you’ve started a project, continue it, finish it, even if you are not doing as well as you expect, and even if that “nagging voice” tells you to quit.
Good luck!

Learn more about the critical inner voice and self-sabotaging by looking at this video by Dr. Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. Introduce the Concept of the Critical Inner Voice, uploaded on the left side bar of this website.

 

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References:

PsychAlive: Critical Inner Voice,  http://www.psychalive.org/critical-inner-voice/

Break Free From You Self Sabotage Barriers: Troyann Williams,